Self Love

1000 words

Last year, my sister and I took pictures in our Easter outfits after church and this year was no different. I boldly posted last year’s picture on Instagram. As soon as I saw it in my feed, I scrutinized it from top to bottom. I felt confident in my rose lace dress, nude pumps, and tightly curled coif. But with every notification of a “like,” I found a reason as to why I should take the pic down. I had been working out and thought my arms would have been more toned and felt shapely but that picture did not display the smaller waist I felt I had earned. I decided to try a new hairstyle. I felt really good about my curls but that picture showed that I should have picked it out or saved that style for another day.

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This year, I purposed not to buy a new dress or get my hair done. I was not going to fall into the stereotypical fashion show that takes place in churches all over the country. BUT I bought some really cute pants from Target that I would have bought anyway (right?)… Another “difference” from last year is that I fasted for Lent and I gave up sweets, coffee, and tea. I knew that after 40 days, I would lose significant weight. But a picture is worth 1000 words. One word I had, in comparison to last year, was “Better.” But of course, being super critical is something I may have perfected.

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I reviewed the pictures of my photoshoot but what I saw was that I “better” start exercising! I see 1000 words but nothing really positive. Crazy thing is I felt good about my entire outfit all day long, until I saw this picture. It really is not fair for me to be hyper-critical but I have chosen to use it as motivation to get the body I am most comfortable in. It did not help that when I was out looking for my Easter ‘fit, I tried on clothes and was so disappointed when I could not participate in the fabulous sale that was taking place at The Gap. So many cute, affordable clothes that I could not purchase. I truly dislike trying on clothes so seeing myself, in a full-length mirror, in my clothes, then down to my underwear, and then in clothes that did not fit they way I had hoped really bummed me out.

I am taking all of those feelings to the gym, at least that is goal. I am purposing to change my narrative. I will find 1000 words that will build and not break. I have done this before. I have consistently worked out, changed my eating habits, fit into my “goal clothes” and despite not reaching my goal weight, I was beginning to truly love the weight I was carrying. I will get there. This is not a lofty goal and I have successfully done this before. I will find my groove, my mojo and work it out!

 

Give Love. Get Love.

 

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