The Village

The Village

Although I am not a parent, I have parented several children throughout my years as an either an educator, nanny, aunt, or sister. Each of those roles as afforded me the opportunity to be a part of a village. From my 3-year-old niece to my just-turned-1-year-old nephew to my friend’s children to all the children I have had the pleasure of calling me, “Ms. Valerie” or more recently, “Ms. Jones,” I have the honor of being a part of several villages.

Raising a child is not easy, and I do think anyone has have made that claim. This is why it is important for parents to know how to create their village. Regardless of how convenient family is or if the grandparents are deceased, your community should consist of those friends and family or “framily” (friends who become family) that you can not only trust with your child but also those who can vent to, cry to, and expect support. Those people become responsible to your family. The 1st year of the child’s life is so unexpected yet very foundational. Books, parents, friends family, other parents, and the childless offer all levels of advice. It is your job to trust your gut and then surround yourself with those who either go with your gut or even challenge it. Then keep away those who are set on destroying what you know to be true.

Your village should protect your child. The world can be scary. The angels assigned to your child and your family are always on guard. But those you have chosen and allowed into your community will be your eyes and ears when you can’t.

Your village will love your child. Perfect love, the love that Jesus personifies, the love that God is, cast out every kind of fear. Love creates a cocoon that your child can help them face the world head on. Knowing you are loved gives you confidence, security, and a sense of bravery needed to conquer any challenge.

Your village should be available for a good laugh. Laughter provides healing to your soul. When your soul is healthy, your body is healthy. Soul prosperity is beneficial to you and your child. Do not be afraid to call on your village just to chuckle.

Your village will provide a strong shoulder. A good cry is just as important as a good laugh. Lyfe Jennings said, “Crying is like taking your soul to the Laundromat.” What we see, hear, and say is how our souls are fed. Sometimes we have been feeding too much of the wrong thing and need a crying detox. There may be times when your child is inconsolable, give them room to cry. When you need to cry, call on your village so you can have the room to just cry. Cleanse your soul.

You do not know what your village will look like. It will just come organically. Embrace those who are willing to embrace your child. Use discernment to only include those you mean you help and not harm. You are not alone. You will have moments you feel lonely, and that is okay but know when to pull on your village, your circle of love.

Give love. Get love.

Speaker of the House

Speaker of the House

Words have power. I think this is a statement I repeat aloud and to myself quite often. To simply begin with the belief that the world we live in, the sun and moon, the animals, plants and trees were all created through words should be proof of the potency that words possess. But we tend to casually misplace that authority when we fail to track the manifestation phrases like, “You make me sick!” or “I am always broke.”

When you become a parent, you gain a special ability because you understand the weight of your words. You speak the life growing inside the womb assured that your child will recognize your voice once he/she enters the world. You might place headphones on the belly, sing or even read to your unborn child. At this point, you are teaching your child the power of words, sight unseen. These actions open the door to their worlds. Consider the fact that a baby’s sight has not fully developed until 8 weeks old. Your child fully relies on your voice, the words you speak, for 2 months without being able to completely recognized your face!!

With this understanding, it is vital that the things you say (even those said in jest) are spoken purposefully because they are going to perform as sent. I have a major pet peeve when I hear a child called BAD. A child is not inherently bad. A child might be born into a bad situation or in a bad neighborhood or even under dire circumstances yet none of these things warrant a bad child. Yet if a child consistently hears that they are bad then they will result in actually being bad.

Children are born students – they must be taught everything. Therefore when they are trying to learn and an unwanted behavior is exhibited, it will be translated to the child as bad. The behavior needs to be addressed and corrected. The desired behavior needs to be displayed so it can be duplicated. Provide choices so good decisions will become habit.

Do not confuse their exploration and creative nature as bad behavior. Set limits. Be consistent. Be intentional. Frame their worlds with your words – I love you. You are beautiful. Yes, you are important! I like the way you did that! – and then apply faith that they will be what you say.  Eventually your child will start speaking those words to themselves and even repeat it back to you.

Hebrews 1:1-6The Message (MSG) 1-3 Going through a long line of prophets, God has been addressing our ancestors in different ways for centuries. Recently he spoke to us directly through his Son. By his Son, God created the world in the beginning, and it will all belong to the Son at the end. This Son perfectly mirrors God, and is stamped with God’s nature. He holds everything together by what he says—powerful words!

 

Give Love. Get Love.