about me

#30layers30days

Alright, so I am a day behind on my 30 days of blogging commitment. But today’s post is the theme from day 3 of allthemanylayers writing challenge: over too soon.

When I read this day, I really thought about skipping it but I think I can write with full honesty and share about a recent event that I am confident was over too soon.

I completed a week-long medically mandated bed rest on Thursday. I did all the right things to make sure I would arrive to work on time but failed (but did not feel like a failure). The failure came with me thinking I could handle going from very little activity to a great amount activity. I usually push my recovery from any and everything but I forced myself to stay in bed a few days. Thursday was a shock to my system and to my entire being. As much as I hate to admit it, my bed rest was over way too soon.

There is such as thing as too much rest and I truly thought a week would be too much rest to recover from a virus. I underestimated the demands of my job and the state of my body. Over way too soon…

 

Give Love. Get Love.

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about me · Personal essays · Self Love

Let Go

I went to bed last night full of hope. I got some exciting news from a close friend. She and her husband had been praying all year and believing God for a laundry list of things to happen. Last night she shared how many things had been crossed off, but the biggest prayer request had been answered, and I am thrilled.

So last night I laid in bed, trying to clear my mind for a great night’s sleep. I am returning to work today after being placed on bed rest. For the 1st time ever in life, I was forced to just rest. I have had recovery time from surgery, but this was not the same for me. I was being forced into 7 days of rest. It seemed promising but not as natural as I thought it would be. Nonetheless, last night, my prayer was to sleep sounding but awake on time, hearing my alarm. There was a noise in the middle of the night that seemed as if someone was preparing to enter my room. My doorknob jiggled. I waited to see who chose to disturb my sleep but thought if it was a spirit or something ungodly, I decided to prayed my voice to yell, “Jesus!” but I just went back to sleep.

I promised myself I would not be late for work and my current formula for that is to wake up earlier. (I am in the process of changing this idea of me ALWAYS being late.) I found myself hearing a rustle and felt my body slowly exit sleep and begin to wonder the time. I searched for my clock/alarm, hitting the button on the slide. My phone died. The idea of that seems so laughable because out of all mornings, I need my alarm. I was wrong in thinking my cord had hit the floor. Somehow, some weird way, my charger, and the phone had separate during the night. It was laying on the bed near my phone. I plugged it in, thinking it was around 330. It was 4:59 am. At that moment, I sat up and thanked God for loving me enough to wake me right when I needed it.

Two nights ago, I laid in bed thinking that maybe I had not been praying enough or listening to God closely enough or just making time to be still and learn how to wait. This morning, He lovingly and gently reassured me that He’s here, He’s listening, and I know how to hear His voice. It was a moment of reassurance that I could not have planned but desperately needed.

This was the 1st morning I attempted to meditate. My heart full of gratitude demanded a Selah – a moment to pause and quietly reflect. As I cleared my mind, a song played in my ears. I tried to remove it from my thoughts, but my spirit said, “Listen to the words. Listen to what you have been declaring. Listen to what you have been putting power to. Listen to what to what you have placed in the atmosphere.” So I allowed, “We are desperate, we are waiting for You, Lord. Have Your Way” to play in my head. This morning served as a reminder that I need to let God have his way. Not just sing about it but believe it, trust it and do it.

Give Love. Get Love.

about me

#bloglikecrazy

November has presented herself in such lady-like fashion, and I’m here for it!

For the past several years, an old friend yet quite accomplished blogger/writer/boss babe, Javacia Harris Bowser, has established a community for women writers who have been given a 30-day challenge to #bloglikecrazy. I merely read about it last year. I had not created my blog yet and thought it very lofty to think I could even remotely tend to this blog for thirty whole days.

But I am here, and I am writing and challenging myself. I have found myself adopting a sense of failure. I realized that I rarely complete those things I commit to like eat healthy for a week, workout for 21 days, become vegan, learn to knit, etc. So this is something that I have mustered up the courage to accomplish. I need to practice. I want to become a freelance writer, and that cannot happen if I am not writing and providing content worth searching and being compensated for.

I am excited. I am nervous. I am so glad November is here. I am ready to finish 2017 so high and full of passion and hope. I am appreciative of Javacia for her consistently, as an example of her tribe of scribes.

I am not going to be intimidated by word count or readership. I am just going to embrace the craziness and do what I do….and I write.

November: Novem– Latin for nine (number of finality).

 

Give Love. Get Love.

about me

Gifting from the Heart

I have found a love for CRAFTING! Making things with my hands is a nice distraction! Pinterest has helped me find ways to turn my anxiety in trying to see my vision through coloring, gluing, pasting, and cutting while at the same time,  provide me a strong sense of pride as I stand back in awe of my creativity.

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Since I am not in a position to create as often as I would prefer, I love to support those who have mastered the art of handcrafted production. That’s when I turn to the world wide web because I specialize in gift-giving! The holidays are a perfect time to personalize your admiration for those you love. Uncommongoods.com is the perfect site for those specialty items that fit every member on that Christmas list! I also love a site that offers sustainable products because loving the earth is a gift in and of itself.

What drew me to their site was the picture of records/vinyl discs as bowls! I immediately knew I could find something for my extremely talented and gifted brother and sister-in-love! Whatever I choose from their unique selection of gifts for men* would work for either of them. I love being able to gift the unexpected, especially since my sister has had to come to grips with sharing the holiday with my nephew. They deserve gifts that speak to who they are as people and as a power couple who just happen to be great parents!

If your mom is like mine, shopping for her can be very tricky! Jewelry? My dad has that covered! Clothes? She handles that well all by herself. Keepsakes? Mementos? She really isn’t into those at all. Uncommongoods.com gives me the opportunity to present something to my mom that I can be proud of! Thankfully they offer an excellent assortment* for all the women in my family. I have yet to find a gift that I could custom create to suit her tastes but their recipe book is perfect because she has a very worn book of dishes passed down from my grandmother and my aunt.

Being the researcher I am, I was ecstatic to find out that this site could also assist me in shopping for my extended family. My One Love babies will always be within my circle of gratitude. Their parents trusted me and my efforts to open my childcare business. The one-of-a-kind array of Christmas gifts for children* will help me further express my appreciation. what-I-want-tags-for-kids-for-the-holidays I am certain I will be able to combine The Want, The Need, A Wear and A Read, somehow…

This gift-giving season will not be as stressful. Whatever I am not able to accomplish through the works of my hands will be done from the coziness of my bed. Yet, I don’t think anything will ever take away from searching catalogs and posting lists on my bedroom door.

Give Love. Get Love.

*affiliate link

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Personal essays · Self Love

100 days…

From my post in April:  100 signifies an election. The word election stems from the Latin eligere meaning to “pick out.” So today, I have elected to reflect over the past 99 days and pick today as the day to begin to conquer my fears, move past my insecurities, and just do it. My faith is urging me to really do IT.

We were taught that 100 means the end. But it’s only April, and Spring just started getting good. Excuse me while I wipe off my rose-colored glasses, adjust my curls away from my face, and exhale, “please count with me…..101, 102, 103, 104, 105. . . .”

 

And now here we are in September with 100 days remaining in 2017. I have still elected to conquer my fears, move past my insecurities and just do IT! I came here tonight to make some declarations so I can purposefully and intentionally fulfill my 2017.

I declare that I will learn dedication and consistency.

I declare that I will work on not being so hard on myself.

I declare that I will work hard and put all my faith in God.

Good night and CHEERS!

 

Give Love. Get Love.

 

 

 

Personal essays

Oh July…

It’s the last few hours of July, my birth month. I can usually reflect back on all the love I received and/or the fun I have had. But I looked at my calendar hanging on the wall and the flower chosen for July is barely seen because the edges are folded over and I looked thinking, “I cannot believe I am actually turning the page to a new month.” July was a busy blur and I don’t like that at all. So much happening between home, work, church, and my life smashed up in there. I am disappointed. It makes me sad to think that my one birthday wish – to receive the love that I give out – really was not fulfilled. The irony here is that when I had that thought this morning, I received a text from a friend who said I crossed her mind and she chose to encourage me. I think God was wanted me to know that He heard my heart’s cry.

Either way, as I lay in bed very tired, I cannot believe that this 7th month of 2017 is over. Seven is the number of rest. I did very little of that. It is the number of perfection and my life has been far from that. I am just wishing I could rewind to July 1st and make some adjustments. I do not know what I could actually change because there was so much going on but I wish I could have found time to celebrate me. I kept telling myself that I will just borrow some time in August but it does not feel worth it at this point.

But in spite of it all, I am grateful. I am a full-time employee and as of August 1st, I will earn the most amount of money yet in this field. My car is still running when I thought it would have given out by own. I am able to sleep in the bed I want even though my parents think I should have gotten a smaller one. My skin is reacting to something; I feel as though I am breaking out from everything but it could be worse.

And what’s crazy, I did not plan a birthday dinner, per usual, but I really wanted a lobster dinner.😏 Guess that’s for the best because I truly want to adopt a vegetarian diet.

I think I had more to say but I started watching a Bishop TD Jakes message from a few weeks ago and my feelings of disappointment are beginning to dissipate so I am ready to sleep in peace.

Get love. Give love.

Personal essays

Seven – Seventeen – Seventeen

Today is my BIRTHDAY!!! 🎂🎁🎊🎉 (<—- and world emoji day 😄)

I left my journal at home 😕 so I might as well blog, right?? I had some good writing to get done, great thoughts to get out! Hopefully, I will be able to pen it all tonight.  I also left a check I needed to cash. I did not sleep well because my mind was racing and I think my music was up too loud – I think I heard every song between each sleep cycle. 😞 I am also at work, which is rare. I typically take off for my birthday, or if I must work, I leave early or something. I am here all day today! It’s a national holiday, and as much as I appreciate God for allowing me the ability to get wealth, I would have preferred enjoying it my own way.

In other 1st, I received birthday gifts from my family weeks early! That was pleasantly surprising. I also did not plan anything for my birthday. There are things I want to enjoy for myself and by myself (i. e. sips n strokes, possibly lunch at a winery) but I typically plan a dinner or some sort of gathering with my friends and family, and I did no such thing this year. There is so much going on, I felt that I would have been disappointed by the lack of participation or the flood of excuses, so I just opted to do me.

I do, however, plan on celebrating until the end of the month. I will try to stop on July 31st, but I am not making any promises! 😏 I expect the most from this year, so I will not be bound by time. I will be 37 for the next 364 days and every day is a gift!

But it’s 7 – 17 – 17 and I plan on just resting in silence satisfaction in all those numbers have to offer. 7 – perfection and rest. 17 – victory. I love it! I will rest in perfect victory today and for the remainder of the month. Taking advantage of this moment will carry me through the end of 2017.

My birthday wish: to see and experience God’s blessings while I am living and well-able.

I love my family for accepting me. I love my friends for loving me.

Give Love. Get Love.

Self Love

Attitude of Gratitude

It is Saturday and this day has earned this hash tag #selfcareSaturdays. So today I slept in, washed my clothes, bedding, and my hair, and now I’m writing! I have done my best to manage my pain without medication. I even do some window shopping online for a new car. Ideally, a massage, possibly deep tissue (if I could handle it!), a manicure, a shopping trip, and maybe a movie would have been so terrific. Yet I have had a free day, in more than one way and I am grateful.

I even got to catch one of my favorite shows, ER. Way back during the early days of cellular devices, I wanted the theme song to be my ringtone. I remember periodically checking to see if I could ever purchase it through a website or whatever avenue we used to use for that purpose. I can’t remember if I tried to record it, but I probably did. I, also watched some great documentaries on the presidency and the White House on the Smithsonian network (did not even know this channel existed). And I now get to watch Jeopardy!!!

It truly is the simple things and the joy they bring. If I had my way, this day would have been spent in the streets but I have recently become a full-time teacher again, and it has been such an adjustment. The job is not what I want, but I am very grateful for this time and trying my best to be patient and take advantage of the opportunity given to me each day. So today in all its simplicity was necessary. I have no regrets. And because I will be 37 Monday, I have been quite reflective. Trying my best not be depressive because I cannot spend my day the way I wish but again, grateful. I guess my self-care Saturday is simply about gratitude. I will take it!

Give Love. Get Love.